It’s A Christmas Miracle!

The miracle is that I’m posting something.

All is well in Rachelloonland, my meagre excuse for a social life decided to pop up and delayed all the stuff I had planned to post, that and my usual laziness, but never fear! More is coming.

I have purchased a professional cover design from CreateSpace, which was fun. I hope it turns out all right, and then you can all pay an exorbitant price for my book. In the mean time, I will evaluate the Christmas specials I have watched so far:

Midsomer Murders: Pretty Good.

Strictly Come Dancing: Pretty Good.

Call the Midwife: Okay.

Doctor Who: Terrible.

I’m sure everyone agrees with me on those. Except for everyone, that is. Christmas dinner was a partridge in a pear tree, except instead of being in a pear tree, it was in bacon. Anyway the real present is that I’m still not going to post my commentary of Throne of Glass. You can all enjoy life for a little longer.

Merry Humbug, Earthlings!

Advertisements

The Very Uninteresting Drama

Well, it’s publishing time here at Rachelloon Productions, and I’m navigating CreateSpace as I type. Well, not at exactly the same time, this is apparently what constitutes a break in my mind. I spent the last five days revising my manuscript, and ended up with a document containing 120,120 words. I felt like that number had to be a sign of utter perfection, and so I uploaded it last night.

At first the document was the wrong size, so I changed it. They had a whole video explaining how to do that, but frankly it was pretty easy to figure out. What I did have trouble with and what didn’t come with a video was filling in my Payee Profile, which I’ve spent much of today trying to do. So they tell you to input the name associated with your Tax Identification Number. I don’t have one, and in the Help section it says I don’t need one, being a non-US resident, that I just have to put in my Country and Business Type.

So I do that and the thing tells me I have to put in the name associated with the number I don’t have and allegedly don’t need, or I won’t complete the profile. ‘WTF?’ I say, and read the Help section again, which tells me I can apply for this number, and it’ll take up to eight weeks. ‘Like hell’, I say, and just put my regular name in the box and hope for the best. They’re the ones that said I don’t need this number, after all.

I’m sure you’re all riveted so far. I know I’ve been.

Also, in order not to pay US tax on Amazon Europe sales, I apparently have to fill in this form that physically hurts to look at and send it to them. And there I was thinking I could get this done in a weekend!

I’ve decided to pay for a professional cover, after fiddling around with the Cover Creator and deciding I was too lazy to try and do the cover myself. I have money, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Anyway, in the meantime I can work on the distribution part. I’m going for Expanded, since why not? and now it’s time to set a price for my book, making me think of that one time someone linked me to a book on Amazon about how to build a nuclear fusion device that was going for $100,000 or something, and how funny the fake reviews were. Good Times.

In other news, I’m working on a new picture for my Dubious Artwork category, while I build up to posting my commentary on ‘Throne of Glass’, which was almost as physically painful to read as that tax form, which is why I’ve been putting it off for so long.

So I guess you probably won’t be able to buy my book for Christmas after all. Oh well. Maybe next time?

EDIT: Oh, that’s why I shouldn’t get Expanded Distribution… It makes the book horribly overpriced. And I apparently still have to charge people £8.84 for it… That kind of sucks.

The Return of the Dark Lord

… by which I mean the return of me.

Yes, I’m back–NaNo ate my life for the last month but it all paid off when I won with 72,341 words; I’m now about two thirds of the way through the book, or just under. Then three days ago the prizes were announced, and I’ve decided since I have nothing better to do, to take advantage of the ‘two free copies of your book from createspace’ and spend this weekend publishing my book on CreateSpace.

DUN DUN DUN!

Yes, although it won’t be my NaNo project that gets published, as I just said it’s not finished, I will be publishing Rooks this weekend, so if it sounds like your kind of thing, buy it as a Christmas gift for your friends! If it sounds like the most wretched thing you could ever think of, buy it as a Christmas gift for your enemies! Just buy it when it comes out, all right!

The main reason I’m choosing to self-publish is, frankly, I’m bored. Agents take 6-8 weeks on average to respond (if they even do, which is rare), and even if I did get picked up there’s no guarantee it would make the book do well. At least this way I can get it done fast, plus I’ll earn more royalties if it does take off. If it doesn’t… well, I have other books-in-waiting I can unleash on the unsuspecting public.

So, the self-publishing adventure begins. What foul beasts can I expect to conquer on my travels? Find out… at some point!

In the meantime we can continue to do mediocre pictures and shallow book commentaries on this blog, for as long as my little heart desires. So come along to find out how the devious outpourings of my unsound mind fare in the vast world of YA indie books, and hear more of upcoming titles, which will come up as soon as I get around to finishing them.

Until then… >:)